Phoenix Ikki (
uccellodifuoco) wrote2013-02-12 11:01 pm
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19th Rise of the Phoenix ஜ Voice
[He always thought that his worst months, the ones he hated the most, were August and September, to be exact the last half of August and the first half of September. But this year Ikki is realizing that he hates February even more. He feels like a caged furious tiger, knowing that something is up, that something is going to happen and that it probably will happen to him and totally unable to do anything to avoid it or escape from it. All he can do is pace in his cage, glare and growl, acting all tough, while inwardly praying to every deity for things to remain fine after the month ends.
He hates to have his feelings played with, he specially hates it when because of that women are hurt once the experiment ends and they realize it was all fake and even if it wasn't his fault he hates it and blames himself for it. But mostly, he hates the idea that Kotomi may be affected again, that come the 14th she may be wandering around the village again, a chocolate box in her hands, ready to give them to someone else who isn't him. And with that hate comes the fear that it may actually happen. That even once the experiment is over she may come to realize she doesn't love him that much or just that the other man is better than Ikki and so he won't just lose her for a few days but forever. But there's nothing he can do to avoid that, to try to ensure that doesn't happen, at least nothing that isn't downright cruel and probably illegal.
Any other day he would convince himself that even if that happened it would be for the better for both of them. But this month he finds himself unable to fool himself as easily as the rest of the year. He may lose Kotomi and not just because it was meant to happen but because a childish so-called scientist thinks that playing with people's hearts is a good experiment. He definitively can't accept that. So rather than just sit and lay low, uncaring for the world, Ikki finds himself more restless than ever. And he realizes it's worrying when he actually grabs his journal and makes a post, hoping that despite some people's strange behavior there will be some left normal enough to engage in conversation and distract him for a bit.]
Hey, Luceti... How many of you have actually ever gotten anything "good" from all the crap the Malnosso put us through? Experiments, drafts, kidnappings, you name it. Do you even bother with trying to find a positive thing to some of those things? Make the best out of it or however you want to say it.
And how many of you have got things downright ruined, or at least damaged enough, because of those thing? Even if you managed to fix things up later on or if you still are dragging along the luggage of that disaster. I'm not asking for details, I'm just curious as to how many chances do I have to not end this month wanting to kill everyone in my sight who looks like a scientist with a weakness to play with people's feelings.
[Private to Kotomi]
I love you.
[Normally he wouldn't say it so openly -even if this is private for just her-, but it's the most direct way he can think of checking if Kotomi has been affected by an experiment or not this month. The day she doesn't answer or answers anything different than showing that she still loves him he's going to have a heart attack.]
He hates to have his feelings played with, he specially hates it when because of that women are hurt once the experiment ends and they realize it was all fake and even if it wasn't his fault he hates it and blames himself for it. But mostly, he hates the idea that Kotomi may be affected again, that come the 14th she may be wandering around the village again, a chocolate box in her hands, ready to give them to someone else who isn't him. And with that hate comes the fear that it may actually happen. That even once the experiment is over she may come to realize she doesn't love him that much or just that the other man is better than Ikki and so he won't just lose her for a few days but forever. But there's nothing he can do to avoid that, to try to ensure that doesn't happen, at least nothing that isn't downright cruel and probably illegal.
Any other day he would convince himself that even if that happened it would be for the better for both of them. But this month he finds himself unable to fool himself as easily as the rest of the year. He may lose Kotomi and not just because it was meant to happen but because a childish so-called scientist thinks that playing with people's hearts is a good experiment. He definitively can't accept that. So rather than just sit and lay low, uncaring for the world, Ikki finds himself more restless than ever. And he realizes it's worrying when he actually grabs his journal and makes a post, hoping that despite some people's strange behavior there will be some left normal enough to engage in conversation and distract him for a bit.]
Hey, Luceti... How many of you have actually ever gotten anything "good" from all the crap the Malnosso put us through? Experiments, drafts, kidnappings, you name it. Do you even bother with trying to find a positive thing to some of those things? Make the best out of it or however you want to say it.
And how many of you have got things downright ruined, or at least damaged enough, because of those thing? Even if you managed to fix things up later on or if you still are dragging along the luggage of that disaster. I'm not asking for details, I'm just curious as to how many chances do I have to not end this month wanting to kill everyone in my sight who looks like a scientist with a weakness to play with people's feelings.
[Private to Kotomi]
I love you.
[Normally he wouldn't say it so openly -even if this is private for just her-, but it's the most direct way he can think of checking if Kotomi has been affected by an experiment or not this month. The day she doesn't answer or answers anything different than showing that she still loves him he's going to have a heart attack.]
[Voice]
[Voice] - guess this means I'll have to throw another char to your post since you came here yourself
So you have wings even in your own world?
[He makes a humming sound.]
You're lucky, I guess that's one of the best things they could give you to remember your family. Ignoring that the most lucky thing would be to be sent back home, of course.
[Voice] Oops! Sorry about that!
My clan as well as other bird clans have wings in my world.
[She smiles at that humming sound.]
I guess that I am lucky within that aspect. But what of those who do not have a home to go back to?
[Voice] Why sorry, this means I don't have to feel bad about spamming you with two chars! :D
[He chuckles a bit though her question makes him go serious. As a man who is unable to remain dead and has seen a lot of death around him, with or without meanings, he can't help to think that dead people should remain dead for everyone's sake. Even if it's horrible and tragic, people are bond to die and those who are left alive have to struggle to find a reason to keep going on, find some sense in the insanity that is to lose someone dear.
Luceti takes that away, it allows those who died to go on living, but he thinks it's worse that way because they will always know for sure that once they return it's all over. And it allows those who lost someone dear be with them again but then it only helps to revive the pain and make everything harder once that miracle ends. He's aware that his opinion isn't shared by many, pretty much he doesn't think anyone would agree, but he doesn't care.]
I suppose then that's not the most lucky thing to happen to them. But I can't see how being stuck here forever can be a good thing, no matter what.
[Voice] FFF NEVER FEEL BAD ABOUT THAT! I love spammage!
[She pauses as she listens, she can't sense anything through this tome but she can pick up that serious tone in his voice.]
With what is happening now, I believe that I would be incline to agree with you. Such a thing should not be allowed to pass. But if I may be so bold as to speak, if there was another place like this... Somewhere else, then it would be the most lucky thing to happen to another.
[Voice]
Depending on who you ask and your point of view I would pretty much be a bird without wings.
[It really depends on how one looks at it, though. But normally he doesn't really have wings himself so...]
Hn, it really depends on how that place is. If you take out the fact that we're stuck and can't return home or here at will and with our memories intact and the experiments that take place... It wouldn't be so terrible, maybe.
[Heck maybe he would even like it better that way.]
[Voice]
You are a Laguz as well? [Oh please OH PLEASE say yes!]
.... I am guessing that experiments are something that is to be expected here. But that place, yes it would be a much better place for us to live in.
[Voice]
I am a phoenix, though unlike another one in this place I'm more human than bird. That's why I said that it depends on how you look at it.
[He hums in agreement at the last part.]
Maybe not something as far as to live in, but it would be better and be a good vacation spot from our worlds. But yes, experiments almost happen on a monthly basis, and when it's not that we have drafts or something else, sometimes both things so no one gets bored.
[So much sarcasm in that last comment.]
[Voice]
... I believe then that you have answered my question by stating that you are a Beorc then a Laguz.
[She goes to let out a small sigh. Is she really the only Laguz here in this world then? Another sigh escapes her lips at his words and even though he can't see it, she shakes her head.]
Such things to happen here is not good for those who are trapped in the village. Though I wonder if they believe it is the proper payment for all of the free things that they give us.
[Voice]
If it serves, my friend Marco is as much of a bird than a man.
[He's just going to assume that Beorc means human and Laguz means bird. Or something like that.]
I'm sure they think it is, suits them. Give power to someone and even if they are in that power position against the will of most people they will think that people owe them just for the mere fact of being alive. After all they are keeping us all safe inside this prison, protected from the Third Party or whatever it is they are fighting... Funny how they often end sending us to fight for them against those guys.
[Funny, ironic and pathetic actually. By the look of things they could live outside of the barrier and protect themselves just as fine, maybe even better as there wouldn't be restrictions as to who goes to fight, neither would anyone have the bright idea of sending children to a war.]
[Voice]
You also know of my lord Marco?
.... They shouldn't be fighting in the first place with whomever is out there. I admit that I have yet to wonder out of the village but I am sure that there is no reason for us to be fighting for those who have kept us captive. I have always prayed that I will never be drafted to fight in those battles.
[Voice]
I know of Marco. Actually I'm starting to think that if you're a bird or related to them in any way, you'll end knowing Marco.
[Ikki chuckles, amused at the idea. It's a good thing anyway, he really likes and cares for Marco after all, the man makes it hard to hate him.]
Oh? They shouldn't be fighting? So you think it's better if we just lay down and let them kill us all? Children included? Because that's pretty much all the Third Party wants, at least according to the Malnosso propaganda but what we have seen of them matches that view.