uccellodifuoco | 19th Rise of the Phoenix ஜ Voice

Entry tags:

19th Rise of the Phoenix ஜ Voice

[He always thought that his worst months, the ones he hated the most, were August and September, to be exact the last half of August and the first half of September. But this year Ikki is realizing that he hates February even more. He feels like a caged furious tiger, knowing that something is up, that something is going to happen and that it probably will happen to him and totally unable to do anything to avoid it or escape from it. All he can do is pace in his cage, glare and growl, acting all tough, while inwardly praying to every deity for things to remain fine after the month ends.

He hates to have his feelings played with, he specially hates it when because of that women are hurt once the experiment ends and they realize it was all fake and even if it wasn't his fault he hates it and blames himself for it. But mostly, he hates the idea that Kotomi may be affected again, that come the 14th she may be wandering around the village again, a chocolate box in her hands, ready to give them to someone else who isn't him. And with that hate comes the fear that it may actually happen. That even once the experiment is over she may come to realize she doesn't love him that much or just that the other man is better than Ikki and so he won't just lose her for a few days but forever. But there's nothing he can do to avoid that, to try to ensure that doesn't happen, at least nothing that isn't downright cruel and probably illegal.

Any other day he would convince himself that even if that happened it would be for the better for both of them. But this month he finds himself unable to fool himself as easily as the rest of the year. He may lose Kotomi and not just because it was meant to happen but because a childish so-called scientist thinks that playing with people's hearts is a good experiment. He definitively can't accept that. So rather than just sit and lay low, uncaring for the world, Ikki finds himself more restless than ever. And he realizes it's worrying when he actually grabs his journal and makes a post, hoping that despite some people's strange behavior there will be some left normal enough to engage in conversation and distract him for a bit.]

Hey, Luceti... How many of you have actually ever gotten anything "good" from all the crap the Malnosso put us through? Experiments, drafts, kidnappings, you name it. Do you even bother with trying to find a positive thing to some of those things? Make the best out of it or however you want to say it.

And how many of you have got things downright ruined, or at least damaged enough, because of those thing? Even if you managed to fix things up later on or if you still are dragging along the luggage of that disaster. I'm not asking for details, I'm just curious as to how many chances do I have to not end this month wanting to kill everyone in my sight who looks like a scientist with a weakness to play with people's feelings.

[Private to Kotomi]

I love you.

[Normally he wouldn't say it so openly -even if this is private for just her-, but it's the most direct way he can think of checking if Kotomi has been affected by an experiment or not this month. The day she doesn't answer or answers anything different than showing that she still loves him he's going to have a heart attack.]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

If you're concerned about her, aren't you probably not messed up? I mean like... yeah. [He doesn't want to... mention... that whole Precis deal]

Sometimes those things hit some people later than others. Last year I was mostly fine until the fourteenth.

[Other than having been tracking Kotomi's Cosmo the previous two days, but he does that with everyone he cares even a bit for so he refuses to think it was because he was affected already.]

Huh! That's a pretty good point, but couldn't you just keep this in mind? You've gotta lot of of discipline, so I'm sure you can handle it.

If I could beat those stupid shifts with my discipline I would still be living nomadic and not approaching the village that often. Neither I would keep forgetting almost a whole weekend every year, for example.

Okay yeah that was weird... [Not that he had some strong implication much happened then]

What about you? Feeling normal yet?

I don't know, I think so. [Cooking does feel a little more lame than usual though, so he's not sure...] I've not really like kissed anyone yet... [ :T ]

I didn't kiss Kotomi until months later, when we were already in our sane minds. I don't think kissing someone is a must during this shift despite everything.

But you don't seem to be talking about how you have suddenly found true love so I guess you're fine.

Yeah, of course-! I mean, I didn't mean to put it like that or anything...! [...Crap, he's revealing himself] That's just a really offensive thing, the makin' people love and kiss.

Hn, with the way some people act those days I can see how you would think it's a must.

[Though he didn't kiss neither Nill nor Kotomi during the time he was shifted.

Wait... Offensive thing?]

I don't know if you're being childish or making an understatement.

How'm I being childish? It's offensive, it's just not right.

Offensive is being insulted. This is much worse, they don't just insult us and make us their playthings, they destroy our minds and redo them as they seem fit, including our feelings and what not. I've seen a god trying to throw the world into eternal darkness and that felt less bad than those experiments.

The both sound bad to me. What's the point comparing two things which are both that bad?

As I said this is worse. The eternal darkness thing could be stopped, this? This can't be stopped. At least not in any ways we can have access to.

I feel like the eternal darkness would be pretty bad for everyone though, wouldn't it?

Again, only if you can't stop it, and it can be stopped so it doesn't matter how bad it could be. It will never be bad because it will never happen.

If you say so, man. I just think both of them are things I didn't want to be involved with if I can help it. But yeah, I guess we can't help it, here, so we just gotta watch out for everyone.

Hn, it's almost ironic. The fourteenth is supposed to be all about getting people to notice you and give you chocolates or whatever, yet with the way this place is you can't know if they notice you for real or just because of the experiment.

I still don't see how this can help with anything except killing their boredom for a while.

Apparently it has to do with playing with clay in the dark or something.

... What?

[No, really, what.]

That's how someone explained it to me.

And that seemed like a valid explanation?

Well it's the only one I got.

Hn, still doesn't give much sense to this crap. Who told you that anyway?

That one-- [...] guy who I'm not sure if they're secret or not.

[voice]

[voice]

[voice]

[voice]

[voice]

[voice]

[voice]

[voice]

[voice]

[voice]

[voice]

[voice]

[voice]

[voice]

[voice]

[voice]

[voice]

[voice]

[voice]

[voice]

[voice]

[voice]

[voice]

[voice]

[voice]